The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of weather and emotions. We spent time in the Outer Banks of North Carolina exploring Cape Hatteras. During our time there, we experienced tornado watches, frequent storms and the intensity of the lion's gate portal was tangible. I was in awe of the islands raw beauty - of the countless sandpipers and the whimsical dunes with their wispy sea oats dancing in the ocean breeze. We visited the lighthouse, learned the origin stories of the US Coast Guard and were absolutely windblown by the lighthouse project - where they moved the entire building nearly a half mile on hydraulic rollers. This was a magical place, indeed - rich with history and sunken ships. It felt surreal to drive along the single road, surrounded by ocean, upon only a bar of sand.
Keeping five children alive in another state, in an unfamiliar home, in the middle of a hurricane was a lesson in patience and relinquishing control. There could have been moments of life and death. Realistically, a second row beach house on an island isn't the ideal place you want to be while a powerful storm brews. The rain blew sideways and the house swayed ever so slightly with each powerful gust of wind. When we had pockets of clearer skies, we hurried to the beach to collect washed up treasures. Shells, crabs, sea grapes and even a curvy, barnacle laden bottle. The sand was just the right texture for sculpting cities and creatures and the ocean tempted the brave with her roaring swell. Unfortunately, as the storm moved closer and the waves grew, so did their courage.
Even our youngest felt called to the waters without an ounce of fear. Therefore, keeping them alive was a conscious activity. I was fully present with someone at all times, it was utterly amazing and absolutely exhausting. Most of us had to be fully present at all times, unfortunately, not everyone stepped up to the challenge. The universe had other plans for our vacation, the astrological weather and the actual weather forced each of us to be absolutely present in the moment and transform.
With that in mind, I really did *want* to send out an email and publish a new diary entry in the Well but that was not in the cards. So here we are, combining weeks five and six and we (me and my multiple personalities) are okay with it. I put the most pressure on myself and almost talked myself out of continuing with this project all together. And then a few friends texted me asking if camp was on and all of a sudden a wave of validation was washing over me. My doubts were somewhat washed away and I had to navigate the ebb and flow of motivation and overwhelm. My house was a disaster and I didn't have a theme or inspiration. I was zapped from the intensity of the trip and the growing to-do list.
So, I did something I don't usually do, I took the easy way out. I didn't send an itinerary, I simply sent an email saying "we're on - you'll have to trust me that we will make it great." This was really hard to not send what I promised, I felt like a failure and an imposter. But campers came! Four new friends and their mama's joined us and we had such a lovely day.
From late morning to mid afternoon, we spent it together outside in the garden. The kids tested the boundaries and became acquainted with each other in no time. We shared snacks and read 'Old Turtle' by Douglas Wood. We used the parachute for a variety of games and took turns swinging and pushing each other. Our first time campers met the chickens and the children were enamored with their quirky personalities.
My first thought after dropping the ball and not sending out this weeks itinerary was "I can make it up for the blog." I would just write everything down that we did and plug it into my template. I want this space to be my truth though. This week, we didn't really follow a schedule. Most days, we don't really follow the itinerary. As a wedding planner and very detail-oriented person, this is difficult for me to let go of. Having structure is important, I truly believe that and that's the main reason why I create itineraries, timelines and schedules. It's the fall back plan when shit hits the fan but it's not essential.
Thank you for trusting me - and for reading. Raising kids is hard, it takes a village and I'm so grateful to be building one with you.